Things We Leave Behind Part 1

Part 1

The District Attorney's office was much more welcoming than the police station. When you watch enough Law and Order you have your own idea of how the police station is supposed to be, the interrogation room and the detectives. But this was nothing like that. It was normal people not as pretty as Olivia and Elliot trying to find out who hurt me.

At the District Attorney's office I sat in the waiting room. They asked me to take a seat in a waiting room filled with toys and a TV playing cartoons. I sat in a little corner and tried to keep my eyes focused on the television. Dora the explorer was playing in Nick JR. A little girl walked in the room with her mother and began playing with the toys.

What happened to her? I wonder. But didn't conclude anything. I don't think I wanted to know. I was already in a complicated situation. At least she had someone there with her to hold her hand. I was alone.

I felt weird; the I don't belong here, maybe this was a mistake, I want to go home kind of feeling came over me. I looked around the room and I noticed someone watching me.  It was a police officer. His eyes were so focused on me that it made me nervous. I tried to avoid his eyes, but he was very handsome.

"Do you know her?" I heard one of the girls at the front desk ask him. But I couldn't hear his answer.

Then my name was called and for the next hour I had to try and vividly remember difficult details from a painful childhood.  You know it's true what someone once told me. Once you write down or describe a memory, it sort of just archives in your mind if you don't think much about it.

The past, the past should stay in the past. I wish we could select the memories we want to erase. But it wouldn't help us and strengthen us, right? We wouldn't have anything to compare; Today I'm here...but look how far I've come. You feel strong and smart when you think back and see how much you've grown and changed. I like that feeling, I hate the memories but I like to see how much I've grown.

When I walked out of the office and the Detective drove me home. When I got out of the car, when I said goodbye to the Detective, I said goodbye that story. I said goodbye to that part of my life. At least that's how I see it.